What role does social media really play in loneliness?
Social media might not be the loneliness villain it’s made out to be. Recent research suggests it isn't the platforms themselves that are the problem.
Despite getting the blame, social media might not be the loneliness villain it’s made out to be
Social media’s got a bit of a reputation. It’s the go-to scapegoat for rising loneliness, especially among young adults. Too much scrolling, not enough connection, and far too much comparison. But recent research suggests it might not be the platforms themselves that are the problem, it’s how we’re using them.
A new international study, led by the University of Greenwich with King’s College London and other global institutions, explores the link between social media and loneliness. Researchers surveyed more than 1,600 young adults in the UK to explore how different digital habits affect our sense of connection.
The results from the study, published in Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, were surprising. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter) didn’t show a strong link to loneliness at all. Instead, it was the more passive platforms, such as YouTube, Reddit, and some dating apps, that were associated with greater feelings of loneliness.
Interestingly, WhatsApp stood out for the opposite reason. It was the only platform linked to lower levels of loneliness. Likely because it encourages direct, two-way communication, which helps foster real connection. The study also found that it wasn’t time spent online that mattered most, but the quality of those digital interactions. Compulsive habits and experiences of online bullying were more closely tied to loneliness than social media use itself.
If that’s the case, then why do so many of us find that social media leaves us feeling… less social?
5 ways constant connection can leave us feeling disconnected
Many of us turn to social media to feel entertained, informed, or part of something bigger. But the way we use it can sometimes have the opposite effect. Here are some reasons why it can sometimes leave us feeling lonely.
1. We’re physically present, but digitally distracted
Say you’re meeting a friend for a coffee and a catch up. Instead of gossiping about each other's lives, you might find them distracted by their phone, scrolling TikTok or swiping right on Tinder. They’re too consumed by their screen to be fully present in your conversation. This highlights a growing problem: even when we’re physically together, our attention can often drift elsewhere. And what happens? You end up leaving that coffee date feeling lonelier than ever.
2. We feel the pressure to always be available
The constant flood of notifications and messages we receive in a day can be overwhelming. We feel the pressure to respond instantly and keep up with multiple group chats. This overload can lead to digital burnout, where the very tools designed to bring us closer make us feel exhausted and want to pull away.
3. We’re hooked on hits of validation
At the heart of it all is the dopamine-driven reward system that social media taps into. Every like, comment, or share triggers a small hit of pleasure, encouraging us to keep scrolling and posting in search of more validation. Over time, this can create addictive behaviours, where our self-worth becomes tied to how many likes our latest Instagram post has.
4. We’re comparing our lives to everyone else’s highlight reel
Social media can fuel FOMO (the fear of missing out), making it easy to believe everyone else’s life is more exciting or glamorous than ours. We’re bombarded with highlight reels - influencers in Ibiza, friends backpacking through Australia, and mum-bloggers who somehow juggle family life and manage to maintain a polished appearance. It’s no wonder we end up feeling like we’re falling short.
5. We find ourselves in one-sided relationships
And then there’s the nature of our online relationships. Many of the connections we form are one-sided. We follow influencers and celebrities, watch every shopping haul and story update, but they don’t know us. Their content might entertain or inspire, but it can’t offer the real, reciprocal support we need. Meanwhile, we’re left scrolling, consuming content passively instead of engaging in meaningful interactions.
Changing our attitude towards social media
With a more mindful approach, we can use technology to strengthen our relationships and reduce feelings of loneliness.
Earlier this year, my friends and I started something called “Wednesday Waffles.” Every Wednesday, we send short video updates in our WhatsApp group chat. Little rambles about how we’re feeling or what’s going on that week. It’s an easy way to check in, and over time it’s become a small but meaningful ritual that helps us feel close, even though we all live in different parts of the country.
This study reminds us that it’s not our phones that disconnect us, it’s how we use them. In the right way, they can help us feel more connected than ever.
How to create healthier social media habits
Here are a few simple ways to feel more connected to peers when using social media.
- Be intentional
Before opening an app, ask yourself why. Are you seeking connection, or just scrolling out of habit?
- Choose connection over comparison
Prioritise platforms that support two-way conversations and real interaction.
- Set boundaries
Limit screen time, mute non-essential notifications, and make space for offline presence.
- Be present IRL
When you’re spending time with others, put your phone away. Give them your full attention (unless you’re using it together for something fun).
- Curate your feed
Follow accounts that inspire, uplift, or educate. Don’t be afraid to unfollow anything that drains you or sparks comparison.
- Try a digital detox
Even a short break, just a weekend or a day, can help you reset your habits and reconnect with yourself.
- Create your own digital ritual
Whether it’s voice notes, weekly video check-ins or shared playlists, small digital traditions can build deeper bonds over time.
It is possible to find real, meaningful connection in a digital world - it just takes a little awareness, and a lot of intention.